SO LONELY IN A CROWDED ROOM

I feel so lonely in this crowded room. I can hear everyone talking, laughing and fooling around. And it is indeed lonely to be here, among them. I don't know why you have to make me feel this way. I feel like you are rejoicing, in a subtle way, to see me fighting all the demons in my head. You see pleasure in my pain. Your laughter echoes in the room as I cry. And that is of course, because you know that I love you and that I am willing to give up everything for you. And just what do I get in return? Don't bother to know. I am not even sure. YOu make me feel so bad about being just me and you are so mean when you are just YOU. You make me feel terrible about me and you told me that you love me. It is unbelievable...is it me or is it you? I remember them all. I remember your stories about them, your smiles when you talk about them. I can remember the times you hit me because of them. The times you yelled, screamed, kicked and spat on my face because you love me no more. Because you found someone new. Someone beautiful, pretty, rich, intelligent and smart, and fun to be with. Someone who does not know you at all. Someone who does not know the real you. And I am just left alone, desperate. These painful thoughts are haunting me and I bury them inside. Bury them alive. I bury them because unleashing these demons is just too much for me to battle now. And I am not sure if you would be there to fight it with me. Or, you will be with them fighting against me.