Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Another One

After a failed marriage to a man I swore to love even after the world ends, what's a broken woman like me to do? I need to move on and indeed, I have moved on. I have evolved to become someone almost different to who I was within that marriage. I am slowly becoming who I want to be: confident and fearless; a woman who definitely knows her worth; a woman who can go on with life without a man. And it has been a tremendous challenge! I wonder how I ever made it through. However, I have learned to keep on falling and moving. And when I hit the ground, I get up. And I try to climb my way to the top, and when I start falling, I think and evaluate my life again. And when I hit bottom, I get up again. Same trick...but every fall gets harder. Men come and go. And I try to think of it that way. People have this misconception that just because you are alone with three kids, you are someone who is into one-night stands. People sometimes think that single moms are easy to have sex with. So casual. Just for fucking. But I know I am not that person. I getin bed with someone because I like that person. Not because I am horny and that I just want someone to fuck the hell out of me...When men treat me nastily as if I'm just some whore they found at some cheap bar, I get hurt. I cry. Deep within me, I know I am not that kind of girl some men mistake me for. I would never settle being an option again. No reason to prioritize someone who treats me as an option. I am craving for equality. An eye for an eye. Sometimes I think I deserve a brain for the eye that I have given. I deserve more and if you can't give me more than what I have given you, then I have to let you go. YOu know so well that I like you. I would never want to hurt you but it seems that you want me out of your life. So, I'm letting you go. I was fine before you came into my life, then it would be easier for me to see you walk out of that door. I see another stranger leaving me. But that is fine with me. Another one is walking my way. :D