MOMMY's CRYING

I am only human so please don’t be surprised to see me breaking down. NO matter how much I try to be perfect for you, I still commit mistakes. I still get scared. I still get nervous. I still get lonely. And it’s because I’m just an imperfect creature. I can’t say don’t expect too much on me because I know great kids like you expect a lot from mom’s like me. I want to be with you always, see you and be with you everyday of my life. But somehow, the heavens must have some other things in store for me. And we just have to be patient with the ways of heaven. But I need to be strong for you, right? And I’m going to take you away soon. No matter what it takes me, I’m going to take you away… and we can live far from everyone around us. We can start a new life. We can start a happier life. Just us.

DIE SLOWLY

Why do you enjoy hurting me always?! Why do you have to make me feel so fucking mad about everything?! It's been three years and god knows how much I've tried to move on, how much I've tried to live my life without you in it. I hate you and everything that came with loving and marrying you. I hate you and every memory I had with you because it reminds me of how pathetic and stupid I was before. I want to tear you and everything about you into bits of pieces. I want to hit you like they way you beat me up when we were together. I wish I could just kill you slowly each day. This is not yet over. I'm getting back at you. I'm not that stupid not to know about it. I'm going to mess up your lives the way you messed up mine!!!!! And I hate you. I hate her. I hate all of you for lying to me. My kids will never be yours. YOu will die begging me to let you see them. I'm not as fuckin' weak as you think I am. I'm not dumb either. Hide everything you can hide from me because once I get to the bottom of this shit, I'm gonna let you eat the shit you've created!!!!!!! May all the demons devour your soul with misery and guilt. May all the fires of hell burn you and everyone who lied and covered things for you.